20-40-60 Etiquette---Gift required?
QUESTION : How do I handle this one? I am invited to a wedding shower, but I know that I cannot go due to a previous commitment. Should I drop off a gift or have it sent online or just not send one since I cannot go? Am I supposed to send a wedding gift, too? Is one gift for both sufficient?
CALLIE'S ANSWER : Send a gift if you are not able to make it. Also, send a wedding gift as well. Depending on your personal preference, you can do both. When we are talking “etiquette,” send a gift to both.
LILLIE-BETH'S ANSWER : Any of your ideas sounds like the right way to handle this.
If you cannot go to the wedding shower and are close to the couple and want to do something, then probably your best idea would be to drop off a gift with one of the hostesses. That way the bride can open it on the day of the shower.
However, since you've sent your regrets to the shower, I think you could also simply send a bigger gift by mail or online for the wedding, as your budget allows, to cover both presents and forgo a shower gift altogether. I don't know of an etiquette instance where you're required to buy a gift for a shower that you do not attend, although it's a nice, meaningful gesture.
HELEN'S ANSWER : If you are invited to the party and cannot go, send a gift to the honoree. Usually, a gift goes to the wedding also. If you are out of time and cannot get a gift to the shower, take it by the house later, or send something really nice for the wedding. Some of the wedding rules can be expanded to suit your time frame and circumstances. Use your best judgment when it comes to gift giving.
GUEST'S ANSWER : Hilarie Blaney , etiquette and international protocol consultant : If invited, you need to send a gift by store delivery, online or by delivering it yourself. If you are also invited to the wedding, you should give a gift as well.
I would determine my budget based upon the relationship to the person. Then I would divide the cost of the two gifts, with the wedding gift being the most expensive purchase.
To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net. For more 20-40-60 etiquette, go to blog.newsok.com/partiesextra.
Appropriate Gift Etiquette - News
20-40-60 Etiquette answers whether to give a wedding shower gift if you can't attend the shower, with Hilarie Blaney as guest. Callie Gordon, a college senior, is 20-something; Lillie-Beth Brinkman, assistant features editor, is in her 40s;
Having your kid sing (badly) does not count as a gift. (Season 7, "The Hot Towel") At the Dansons' aforementioned anniversary bash, Susie and Jeff announce that instead of giving the couple a toaster or blender, their "incredibly talented" daughter,
Is it essential to bring a gift if you are staying the night/longer at a friend's house? What would a good gift be? GWYNNIE'S TIP: A small bunch of hand-picked wild flowers, some fresh strawberries from the local farm or a cashmere throw.
If the party costs more than you thought it should, then maybe a smaller wedding gift is appropriate. GUEST'S ANSWER: Devonne Carter, licensed clinical social worker and teacher of etiquette classes: There are a few different ways to look at this.
I know that traditional etiquette decrees that we should not send a save-the-date without following it with an invitation. However, we both feel we don't want to obligate people who aren't attending to send gifts. What do you think?
Your Wedding Gift Etiquette Issues Are Clarified | Relationship ...
Like a lot of people, you’ll have invites the entire year around to be present at marriages, particularly when the wedding ceremony season begins. In our always changing universe, the dos and don’ts of wedding protocol are not as obvious as it once was, especially if you think about the wedding gift etiquette. In fact, you could be one of the many who have questions about contemporary gift etiquette. Here I will try to answer probably the most common and difficult inquiries, and with any luck lead you on the road to several easy and affordable solutions.
What about the engagement in addition to the wedding?
A common question regarding wedding gift etiquette that I usually must answer is the concern, if there is a need to offer separate gifts for the engagement and the wedding. The easy reply to this is, no. One single wedding gift is definitely sufficient. An engagement gift is truly not a bad idea, actually, it’s considered as considerate and also polite. It might be smart if you will present a gift if you are attending the engagement event.
One important rule of thumb is that it is advisable to present the bride as well as the groom something from their registry as an engagement gift. Then provide cash for the real wedding present. You are certain that you can’t go wrong that way. The engagement gift is a wonderful chance for you to give the couple your own personal touch by deciding on something that will remind them of you like an exquisite picture frame or a decorative Waterford Crystal Bowl . Do make sure to check out the bride and groom’s wedding registry before getting something not on the registry, just to confirm it matches and they won’t be receiving several versions of the same item.
Just how much money Should I Spend On The Gifts?
Another customary question is how much is the correct amount for a wedding gift. There are no solid and fast rules regarding costs, but appropriate wedding gift etiquette calls that you keep in mind the amount the newlywed couple are spending on you
Typically, a wedding can cost roughly $100-$150 for each guest, so you may plan to spend that amount for the gift. In case you are attending as a family of 4, you may want to give the appropriate amount for 4 persons. As well, do not feel compelled to spend more than you can actually afford. If a hundred dollars per individual is out of your budget, then merely spend what you possibly can manage. Your earnest and sincere words of congratulations in addition to your presence in the ceremony should be considered by the newly wed couple as a very expensive present.
Appropriate Gift Etiquette - Bookshelf
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