Men Who Love Fat Women

When men go wrong

Once he feels the woman is hooked, he begins the destruction.

Asiphe Ndlela, an Illovo psychologist, says: "He starts with verbal abuse. The abuse is aimed at making women feel bad about themselves: you're stupid, ugly, barren, lazy, boring, fat, you can't do anything right."

She says after weeks or months of this indoctrination most women feel inadequate and begin to think the man is right.

Ndlela says among the theories that try to explain why certain men use violence against their partners are chemical dependency, economic hardship, family dysfunction, a lack of spirituality, poor communication skills, provocation by women and stress.

She says while these issues can be associated with the abuse and battering of women, they are not the causes.

"An abuser has a low self-esteem. He feels powerless and ineffective. Though he might appear to be successful he feels inadequate. He finds external excuses for his behaviour. He will blame his violence on having had a bad day, alcohol or drug use or anything that comes to mind."

She says the abuser might be charming and pleasant between acts of violence. There are early warning signs of abuse, including a bad temper, cruelty to animals, extreme jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and-or unpredictability.

She says men who are weak, needy and who do not understand women are the type of guys who become stalkers or violent when a woman they care for does not act the way they want.

"A guy who becomes violent to a woman during an argument is afraid he won't get what he wants, won't be accepted or won't be loved.

"His fear of losing his girl or her love causes him to try to force what he wants with violence," Ndlela explains. "In reality not controlling his emotions or learning how to understand women will cause him to act in a way that guarantees that exactly what he fears most - losing his girl - will happen."

She says the main reason for abuse is power and control.

"Showing others that they have power over something is one of the main reasons why men hit women. Power is addictive. If the man feels he is powerless over things in his life, he might be compelled to create his own power."

She says having control over another human being is the main cause of this kinds of action.

"The man might not be able to control anyone else but he can surely control 'his' woman. He is making his statement far too clear. He is the head of the household and he decides what happens there. It doesn't stop at physical abuse.

Men who love “fat chicks”, masculinity, and women as trophies

Fat Admirers (FA) have historically adopted queer nomenclature for their self-discovery stages and preferences. Men who openly pursue, prefer, and date fat women are “out.” Men who like fat women but more or less hide them from friends and family are “closeted.” Men who say they like both skinny and supersize women ones are “bisizuals,” a controversial term that’s regarded as disingenuous in various online circles.”

It’s also worth checking out the part where they deconstruct common misconceptions, including “Loving fat women is a fetish”, “Fat Admirers pursue fat women because they are vulnerable prey”, “Guys who are sexually attracted to fat chicks are sexually attracted to all fat chicks”, “Sex with a 110-pound woman is preferable to celibacy”, and “It’s easy to pick up a fat chick.”

Also highly recommended: Hugo Schwyzer, a Feministing favorite and a very smart masculinity blogger, sees the profile as “a useful conversation starter” , despite the fact that “the article still centers men’s attraction to heavier women rather than women themselves”. He goes on to make really excellent points about weight, desire, and ego, including this gem:

“So much of men’s focus on thin women, I pointed out, is wrapped up in the desire to gain status in the eyes of other men. One of the most basic tasks for heterosexual men is a simple one: learning to separate what it is that they personally find desirable from their desire to impress others. Our ruthlessly fat-phobic culture doesn’t give fat people “trophy” status, even if (as the article suggests) many men are sexually drawn to heavier women.”

A good friend of mine who is a sociologist in the field would love this. I’ll pass it along to her.

I have been known to be romantically and sexually involved with women who could never be confused as thin. And it never seemed to be a fetish to me. It always depended more upon the personality. I was also in a relationship with a woman who had struggled with cancer during her teenage years and who looked unhealthily thin as a result of the chemotherapy.

Thanks for the comment Robin, but I think the statement is correct as is. The rest of the paragraph is devoted to battling the misconception that even a Fat Admirer would choose to sleep with a “skinny” woman over none at all. The debunking paragraph reads: “Nope. “It’s like, ‘What, are you just going to go out and have sex with skinny women until you find a bigger one you like?’ No, you’re not. You’re just going to stay home.

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